Thoughtful Thursday

So if you read through my post on Tuesday you probably know that I put my two weeks notice in, if you didn't read through it... surprise! Haha.

I was talking to Steven earlier telling him I was thinking about blogging but I didn't know where to start, in which he responded with, "at the beginning of course." Ah, right. Of course!

I'm not going to start at the very beginning but I'll fill you in from when I can remember. I took the job I'm at now because it basically fell in my lap and it was really good money for my first job and I already knew and liked the people I'd be working with. After about 6 months I started getting frustrated and bored with the work I was doing. No one's fault, I'm just not into politics and government! It was really hard for me to try to be a great employee when I could literally not give two flips about agendas and short form plats (see exciting right? haha). I've stuck it out though, to get our savings up to our goal amount. Luckily we got a good amount back on our taxes which put us over that goal amount and then some. So after a lot of praying and thinking and running numbers and praying and thinking and talking I decided we decided that I was going to quit my job and try to sub full time at the two school districts near our house. We know that Steven makes enough to support us and whatever I make will be what we put into savings. Not as much as before, but I think as long as it's growing at least a little bit then that's the important part.

So after getting confirmations from God that I just need to trust Him and have faith I got up my courage and walked into my boss' office. I has no idea what I was going to say or how I was going to start the conversation. I thought about putting my resignation requisition in his in-box for him to sign and just walking away, I thought about just throwing it at him and running down the hall before he had a chance to say anything, but I didn't. I walked in there, he had some small talk with me, and then... by the grace of God said,"Is this bad news?" Hooray! I was so, so glad I didn't have to bring it up! That I didn't have to start the awful conversation. I just said, "Yes, I'm putting in my two weeks notice." He was shocked, rightfully so, since I had given him no real warning or signs of unhappiness. Put he was very nice about and after I left his office I realized I couldn't tell if I my legs were shaking from the work out I just did or from shear terror... I'm going to say it was the work out.

Since then, we've fixed Steven's truck, again (we've officially bought it at least 3 times, wonderful), and had some family issues that have been weighing on our shoulders. I'm going to be honest with you, I'm absolutely terrified. I'm scared that I'm about to put us into a situation that will make our lives not as easy going as they were, that we won't be able to treat our friends to dinner, or have people over and not worry about them bringing anything. I'm scared that I'm bringing an unnecessary complication into our life, I'm scared I'm making myself my own worst enemy.

Needless to say I'm doubting, hardcore. I've asked God to make it known what he wants me to do and I've let him know that I am having doubts and I need more confirmation, which he has provided. I just can't shake the fear. The unknown. I'm scared I've put my emotions and dislike of my job into searching for "signs." I think well... maybe he was trying to tell me something else and I just manipulated it until it fit what I wanted. That's a possibility. 

Even thought our money and lifestyle are going to be very different and I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do once schools out (hopefully pick up some more kids to teach art to and sell things on etsy or somewhere). I'm trying really, really hard to step out in faith and trust that God has got a plan. I know that if it is God's plan then it'll work out wonderfully after we get over the initial shock. I'm just praying that I'm hearing Him right.

I would really appreciate it if you just said a little prayer for us today.

Thanks!

Love-Lea

Weekend Review

So Saturday my wonderful Husband decides that we are going to take spontaneous drive to the city. He surprised me by taking me to our new Anthropology store!!! (If you've never heard of it, check it out!)

They mostly had clothes and bedding, but we found some fun kitchen things to look at and... my all time favorite...hardware! I didn't think about taking pictures until we were almost done looking around but I hope you can see just how awesome their knobs are!

Hooray! I have been obsessing over this place for a while now.

So many glorious knobs!

See?? So pretty!

These were some of my absolute faves. Then again, I have a thing for turquoise.

We thought this would be quite a nice little cereal bowl.

(If you knew the price of this place you would understand how ridiculous that statement is)

 Yesterday was one of the prettiest days we've had in a while here in Oklahoma. It reminded me of springtime in college when we would go play tennis or the boys would just skateboard around for the afternoon. Luckily, we got to play some basketball for a couple of hours after work since it's so stinkin' light out still! It was such a complete breath of fresh air to be out in the sunshine and breeze.

As you can see, I did not play basketball... I just sat on the swings and the slide and took the opportunity to just enjoy being still in the warm sun and not stuck in a building with hardly any windows.

Mmmm, love, love.

I also discovered these sweet little flower weeds that had hearts for leaves. So cute.

I also started reading the 2nd book of the Huger Games today outside at lunch. The first one was a rush! I'm not expecting that much from this one, but I'm still excited.

Oh, and speaking of being stuck in a building without any windows (see above pictures). If you've read this far I think you deserve to know the most exciting news of the week so far.... ready?

I put in my two week notice yesterday!!! Hooray!! But more on that on Thursday.

I hope you are enjoying the sunshine!

Love-Lea



Thoughtful Thursday

 

 

“We all pretend for a while or for a lifetime. But pretending is not living...I believe that God meant for life to take our breath away, sometimes because of the sheer joy of it all and sometimes because of the severe pain. To choose living over pretending means that we will know both.” 

-Angela Thomas

 

 

 

 

I want to be done living in this pretend world that I've made up for myself. Just sitting around thinking about my perfect life hasn't proved to be very productive.

 

I sometimes look through blogs or  read magazine articles and think, "Yeah, that's what I want my life to look like." But then go about my day as usual. The people I admire didn't get to where they are by just hoping and dreaming. They accomplished things by actually getting up and making it happen. By actually practicing and experimenting and making mistakes. By taking the good with the bad and making the most out of the real life situation they're in now.

 

Now, I know this can be a terribly scary thought. But... 

If we try to live our lives like a movie then we are going to miss out on a lot of real things that could be very important to how our real lives are going to turn out.

 

We can't compare our behind the scenes to somebody else's highlights. We just can't. We have to do what's best for ourselves and what's best for the dreams we have.

 

So...

 

I hope that once you realize what your dreams are, what your passion is that you actually go out and do it!

 

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

 

Irresponsible...

Selfish, impatient. Those are all things that describe me right now. If you've checked out facebook lately you already know we decided to get Hank. Good decision, bad decision? Not really sure! I have no way of justifying what we decided. I could try but everyone would be able so see right through it. We were just tired of flippy flopping around the decision. If we decided yes, I'd get anxious about money and training. If we decided no, I'd get super sad and just start looking for other dogs. (non of which Steven would've liked) So Friday afternoon I emailed the breeder and told her we had changed our mind, then all night I wondered if we should really go or not. Finally, Saturday morning after laying in bed talking and talking and talking about it, Steven made the executive decision to make the trip to Skiatook to get Hank!

What. A. Drive.

( I know what you're all thinking while you're reading this, "Lea, it really sounds like since you couldn't make up your mind and it was making you anxious that NO was the obvious answer...")

It's not that easy people!! A tiny, precious, wrinkly puppy was involved! I could just see him running around the house, taking naps, and just hanging out with us. ( I could also see him being really demanding and draining some of our bank account.)

Luckily, we'll only have to live like we're poor until our next paycheck, haha. Sure, we may not get to put as much into savings as we normally do, and we're starting over in our student loans fund (which don't have to be paid until January, yay!) but in the end it came down to either paying off student loans two months early, five years down the road, or get Hank now... our decision is obvious.

But much to our delight, he's been the best puppy so far! ( all 28.5 hours haha) He loves his crate, he tells us when he needs to go out, and he sleeps alllllllllll the time. Best 10 week old puppy award goes to Hank!

I really think he'll be good for us though, give us a routine we both desperately need. We need structure! haha The only thing I regret is not praying about it more. We just made a huge, slightly spur of the moment, long term decision without including the One that knows what we really need. This was definitely a lesson learned... I'm just praying that God uses this circumstance to teach us and bless us in other ways. I mean, this could've been his decision all along, I'm sure he would've just liked to have been the one to tell us though.

Sorry this is so long, and I'm really grateful if you've stuck it out this long. I just wanted to share that life happens to everyone and not every decision we make may be carefully thought out and executed, but how are we going to learn anything if we don't "fail" every now and then...

So with out further delay.... I'm proud to announce the newest member of the our household.....
Hank Rockefeller Stone! I hope you love him as much as we do!

 He wasn't so sure if he wanted to come in or not!

After a looooong car ride

Socializing with Roger... they were really indifferent about each other. hah

Hanging out with papa Steve!

One of his many naps today

Happy decision making everyone!

Love-lea

November, November!

Here's just a little update from our Halloween party last Saturday. I'd say it was a success!!

Shaggy and Velma!

We also have super girl, an owl, little red riding hood, Zombie Bonnie (&Clyde), a raccoon, Alice in Wonderland, and a Jellyfish!!  I really wish I would've gotten more pictures of everyone else's costumes...oops.

"Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

Now on to November!! Unfortunately I think this might be a busy month in the Stone household. At least for me. November marks the beginning of making Christmas presents, getting ready for an open house (which I just started creating for... I'm lame I know),holiday time with our families and friends, a few birthdays, and finding time to snuggle with my love. Good night! And I was trying not to have anything planned after our Halloween party...there goes that idea.

We've been  busy around our house trying to discuss Christmas budgets, car problems, and trying to make responsible adult decisions, which turns out isn't that much fun. We've spent the last week thinking, planning, and talking about getting a dog. Not just any dog... a little bitty puppy bulldog...I was ecstatic! That was, until we continued our research and discovered we were going to have to pay a pretty penny for a healthy one not created in a puppy mill. This price didn't stop us at first though! We were trying to figure out how to move some money around and what a good potty schedule would be for our new member of the family. We read articles, talked to breeders, and bought magazines. (Imagine what kind of crazy parents we're gunna be! our kids don't stand a chance haha) We even had a meeting scheduled to go get him on Saturday! However, in the end I decided that the most responsible decision would be not to get little "hank." I am at peace with our decision because I know it's the best one for us right now, but needless to say I am still quite sad. It would have been so much fun having little hank running around, but we just don't have the money or time we need to spend on him.... so, so, sad.

So this is what it feels like to really be a grown up. I'm not sure how I feel about it, I don't think I like it...