We decided that getting Hank wasn't the best decision for us right now. From Steven's truck needing much more work than we thought and not realizing how new and delicate our marriage really was, it just wasn't the right time to bring another living thing into our household.
I am so terribly sad. We just weren't ready for that kind of responsibility.
Our house is now a little bit quieter and little less smelly. It doesn't really seem that great.
In my last post I said I was thankful for a God who makes all my wrongs right in his own way and boy did he ever! I have learned so, so much from our short little week with our hanky panky that I know it wasn't all a mistake.
If I would have just listened and been honest with myself in the first place I wouldn't have this ache in my heart now. What did I expect to happen when I voluntarily stepped out from underneath God's umbrella of protection? Everything to go smoothly? If that were the case then I would never need to listen to Him.
Luckily, He knows how to make all of my wrong, selfish decisions work for the greater good.
I was worried that when I gave Hank back to the breeders that I would never know what happened to him or where he went. (It's crazy how much your heart can change and grow in 6 days) But now I don't have to worry! A lady in our office that I get to see everyday fell in love with Hank when he came to visit on Friday and was really excited about buying him from us. She even bought all of the accessories we bought for him. I know they will be so very happy together and she'll be able to provide everything he'll need. She even went out Friday before she came and got him and bought him all kinds of goodies. She said I can see him whenever I want and there'll even be a week in December when she'll need a puppy sitter!
Hank will still be in our life, which makes me extremely happy, we just won't be the ones that he relies on or needs, which makes my heart very heavy.
I am so embarrassed to be telling this story and I know my posts have been very bipolar, but that's what happens when I think I can make decisions by myself. So thankful my God is a loving, grace filled God who fixes what I mess up.
We now know what having a puppy REALLY means and we know that one day we'll be ready, just not now. I never thought I'd be giving up something I loved so much, but I know God has other things in store for us. Who knows, maybe one day we'll get a little puppy from Hank!
I'm embarrassed to have failed and to not have been able to listen to myself, but failure is the best way to learn and learn I did! I am going to keep his pictures and I hope his smell takes a while to leave our couch. He was a fun little part of our lives that I don't want to just push aside. If I just forget all of this ever happened it would've been completely pointless, and Hank will never be pointless
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